5. People who rave ceaselessly about a film without thought of relenting solely because it is written by / directed by / starring / the lovechild of Quentin Tarintino.
Stop it; you know who you are. He just isn’t that good.
4. People who insist on repeating jokes that have just been made in the film.
Presumably this is for comic effect. It seldom works. But if you’re going to do it, please have the decency to quote correctly.
3. People who say, “that doesn’t happen in the book.”
Really? You hadn’t mentioned that you’d read the book. It’s good to know, though, especially as we are watching the film. Kindly keep such irrelevant information to yourself. Oh, this only comes at number 3 because I have been known to do it myself… Frequently.
2. People who say “That’s unrealistic,” when realism is of absolutely no consequence.
A film does not have to be realistic (so long as it is not supposed to be); it has to be coherent. As a work fiction, by its very nature it is perfectly entitled to set the rules of its own universe. No problem exists until these rules are broken.
And, coming it at number 1. People who remark scathingly, “what are the chances of that happening,” in response to convenient plot developments, as if the mere unlikeliness of a story provides sufficient grounds for its immediate dismissal.
What it must be like to see the world with such clarity. Well done sir, once again your piercing mind astounds me. It certainly is unlikely that our heroes who struck it off so well initially, only to be separated by circumstance, now find themselves brought together again by a work of coincidence (see High School Musical). But how about this for a thought – every time Fate falls asleep at the wheel and there is no joyful reacquaintance they don’t make a film out of it. Genius.